Linux printing is supposed to be difficult, right? This took about 10 minutes total. I almost feel cheated.
These two terminal commands:
$> sudo aptitude install cups cups-client simple-scan hplip system-config-printer
$> hp-setup
Literally all it took. The printer appeared in LibreOffice and worked a treat, and the scanner scanned without so much as a peep.
I have to admit, it took me significantly longer to work out how to put the paper in.